I’m not happy right now.
A police officer called to tell me an hour ago that they found my car, but that I should look for a new one.
It was sold for scraps and parts.
Somehow, this news is immeasurably more violating and upsetting than my car being out in the abyss.
My car, that I bought with all my saved pennies at 16, drove all over Georgia going back and forth from college, road tripping with my brother to see my dad, driving to high school with my brother, and had dance parties on the way to swim practice.
Someone not only took it but took it apart. And there’s no getting it back. It’s violating. So, I’m not happy.
I can try to be grateful. Here’s a list of ten worse things involving my car that could have happened.
1. I wasn’t carjacked.
2. I didn’t run over anyone.
3. I didn’t get run over.
4. My car didn’t explode.
5. I wasn’t involved in a ten car pileup.
6. My tire didn’t blow setting me swerving around I 85.
7. Nobody died.
8. It wasn’t my fault.
9. I wasn’t texting and driving.
10. I wasn’t caught hot boxing.
Okay the last two might not be worse but they’d be bad and humiliating.
It’s also Ashley’s birthday. So, let’s see… 10 reasons Ashley is amazing and I shouldn’t be so sad about no car.
1. She’s a pirate.
2. She’s a princess.
3. She’s conscious of growing.
4. Have you seen her hair?
5. She’s a Latina: reina.
6. She taught me to eat Oreos with gelato.
7. She dyes my hair for me. Like a boss.
8. Her smile is like magic!
9. She’s great at making you feel special.
10. She’ll almost always go get a Greek salad and beer with me.